Revenge for the Waiter
by SingingInTheRaiin
Summary: Will is a waiter who has to suffer through some absolutely horrendous customers. Luckily he has a boyfriend who's secretly a cannibalistic serial killer to come to his rescue. (one-shot)


Will laughed at the look on Hannibal's face. "Come on, I already told you that I have to work today."

Hannibal arched one eyebrow. "I still don't understand why you insist on working in that awful place. I could single-handedly run a restaurant that would be many times better than Cara's."

Will snorted. "It's got two Michelin stars. You're just being a pompous ass about it."

The older man didn't deny the bit about being a pompous ass. "Regardless of how many stars it may have, you know that there's no need for you to work."

Will rolled his eyes as he grabbed his jacket and pulled it on. "We've been over this about a million times already. I am not interested in having a sugar daddy." Hannibal narrowed his eyes at the term, but didn't bother to refute the fact that that's basically what he was offering. "I know that you get oh so lonely when I'm not around, but that's just part of life."

"At least I will see you again when you are finished working," Hannibal basically grumbled.

Will winced. "Uh, about that…" He knew that there was no point in delaying the inevitable, so he just powered on. "I was going to text you on my break to tell you, but I actually have to go home tonight. Alana's out of town on an important conference, which means that she can't feed my dogs, and besides that, I haven't seen them in a couple of days." The pitiful look on Hannibal's face was almost enough to guilt Will into changing his mind, but he'd been dating Hannibal long enough to know that it was just a manipulative ruse. He leaned over to press a quick kiss to Hannibal's lips, and then hurried to open the front door before Hannibal could drag him back. "I'll call you tomorrow!" he shouted over his shoulder as he ran outside and to his car. He was already almost running late as it was, thanks to Hannibal's distracting and effective powers of persuasion.

He rushed to get to the restaurant on time, and went inside through the staff entrance. It really was a very fancy place, and Will knew that it was actually one of Hannibal's favorites. It was where they'd met, when Will had 'accidentally' spilled a drink onto a handsy customer's lap, which had caught Hannibal's attention. Well that, and the fact that he'd brought Hannibal's bill with a friendly 'hello Mr Ripper' scrawled across the bottom.

As the evening passed on, just as simultaneously boring yet hectic as usual, Will wondered what Hannibal was up to. Maybe the opera, or an art museum. Something that would really show off how wealthy and cultured he was. Then Will walked over to a newly occupied table in his section, and narrowed his eyes. "Hannibal, how lovely to see you here."

Cara's had a strict policy of making reservations at least two weeks in advance. It was hard to say for sure whether Hannibal had done so knowing that Will had a shift tonight, or if he'd just charmed and bribed his way into getting seated. Either was entirely possible. Will handed over a menu, and then listed off all of the specials before hurrying off. He knew that if he stopped to actually talk to Hannibal, he'd get way too distracted to tend to all of his other tables.

Will grabbed some more menus, and went over to the next table. Three older women were sitting there, and he offered them a charming grin. Or at least, it was what his friend Beverly called charming. She was one of the chefs in the kitchen, and told Will to always use that smile because it would garner better tips. One of the women even blushed a bit, which was proof of his success. He ran through the typical spiel, and then ended by asking if he could get them any drinks to start.

One of the women cleared her throat and got straight to business. "I'll have a glass of water with no ice, and exactly one quarter of a lemon."

The second one then spoke up. "Bring me some of that salty hot chocolate."

Will blinked a few times as he tried to wrap his mind around the odd sounding request. "Do you mean the salted caramel hot chocolate?" The woman just shrugged in response.

The third woman pointed to the wine list. "I'll have the peanut nware."

"Pinot noir?" She nodded.

As soon as Will was facing away from the table, he couldn't help the frown that crossed his face. He had the feeling that the rest of his shift was going to feel way too dragged out. The only thing worse than rich and pretentious people were those who were too stupid to even be proper rich snobs.

Soon enough, he was walking back over to the ladies with their drinks, after having quickly dropped off a glass of one of Hannibal's favorite wines. He distributed the drinks, but before he could ask if they'd decided on their orders, the first lady narrowed her eyes in annoyance. "This drink is warm!"

Will forced himself to take in a deep breath and then slowly let it out so that he would be able to keep his voice steady. "I do apologize, ma'am, but you did ask for it without ice."

"So you're saying that this is my fault?"

The second lady reached over to pat her friend on the arm. "Now, now, Elise, I'm sure that that's not what the boy intended to say." Almost forty years old and still referred to as a boy. How wonderful. The only person who could say that to him without making it sound like an insult was Hannibal. "Bring her a new glass, and this time make sure it's cold," the second lady barked.

Will nodded. "Of course, ma'am. I am sorry for the mistake. Now, have you ladies decided on what you'd like to eat?"

The first lady was quick to start. "I'd like to try that meat lasagna, but without any meat in it."

"Well, we do have a vegetarian lasagna-"

She shook her head. "I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't eat meat."

Will put down a vegetarian lasagna for her. It would be exactly what she was asking for without upsetting the chefs. Beverly, Brian, and Jimmy were too nice to have to deal with these sorts of people. The second lady cleared her throat. "I'll have the pork bowl, and make sure there's no fat on the sides."

The third lady practically slammed her menu down onto the table. "I'd like a cheeseburger."

It was really grinding on Will's self control to not just walk away. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but that's actually not on the menu-"

"Yes, I had noticed that," she interrupted. "But everywhere sells burgers, so that's what I'm getting."

There didn't seem to be any point in arguing with the women. Will returned to the kitchen, an apologetic look on his face as he handed over the orders. Beverly gave a small pat to the top of Will's hand. "Hey, it's alright. We've got enough supplies here that we should be able to throw something together for the witch." Will grinned at his friend, and then went to get another glass of water. This time he dropped in a few ice cubes, and waited until the cup was sufficiently cool. Then he used a spoon to pull out the cubes, and poured the water into a clean glass that had no sweat running down the side. He chopped a lemon into rough quarters, pressed one onto the rim of the glass, and brought it to the table.

The lady didn't even thank him, just grabbed the glass out of his hands. And it didn't escape his attention that she'd already gone through half of the 'warm' water. A little while after that, he took their dessert orders, which wasn't too bad, though he was asked to put whipped cream into a separate bowl because 'the side of the plate wouldn't be far enough away'. He brought the desserts over, all the while maintaining his usual polite smile, and keeping up with all of his other tables.

When he passed by and saw their empty plates, he took them away to be washed, and then returned with the bill. "Here you are, ladies. No rush, whenever's convenient."

The second lady flipped over the leather book, and then scowled. "There's only one bill in here? We specifically asked for them to be separate!"

Will was a smart guy, and had a great memory. He knew for a fact that he hadn't been asked for separate bills. But he also knew that it was best to just smile, apologize a few times, and take it back to the kitchen to sort it all out. He returned with three separate bills, only to be informed that two of them were supposed to be together, and one of them separate.

He clenched his jaw, and left once again, and then returned with the proper bills. As he approached the table, he could hear the women speaking loudly amongst themselves. "Such a rude boy! I certainly won't be giving him a single cent of a tip!"

One of the others laughed. "Smart of you. In a place like this, the waiters probably make so much money that they don't even need tips. They're really just being rude by expecting us to hand over our hard earned money to pay for them to make more money than us."

Will could feel how fake his smile was by that point, but he took joy in the fact that he would only have to keep it up for a little while longer. He handed over the checks, and then once the ladies had all paid, he double-checked the table. He really hadn't gotten a tip from any of them.

As he passed by Hannibal's table, Hannibal reached out to snag Will's sleeve and tug him closer. "Are you alright? Those women were awfully rude."

Part of Will knew that Hannibal was saying something important at the moment, but his brain felt like mush, and he was pretty pissed, so he just shrugged. "Usually a place like this doesn't get customers quite that bad. They probably just got a bonus in their paycheck and decided to blow it all in one place. It's not really that big of a deal."

"Did they really choose not to tip?"

Will sighed, and then nodded. "Yeah. Total jerks, I know. Look, I have to go." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Maybe I could come over after work after all?" Will knew that spending time with Hannibal would definitely help him to forget about this sucky shift.

Hannibal shook his head. "Spend time with your dogs. They should be good for cheering you up." There was a deadly serious look on Hannibal's face, but Will wasn't in the right state of mind to try and figure out what it meant. He just gave Hannibal's hand a gentle squeeze, and then headed back to his rounds. He saw out of the corner of his eye when Hannibal left a few minutes later. A quick sweep of his table, and Will found that he'd been left almost a hundred dollars in a tip. That was way more than Hannibal's bill would have required, and closer to how much he usually got from tables of five or six people who felt generous. He decided to give Hannibal a pass just this once, but he was apparently going to have to make it clear, yet again, that he had no interest in being a kept man.

Eventually Will got home, where he was greeted by his pack with great excitement. He grinned and spent time playing with all of them before pouring out their food. As he got ready for bed, Hannibal called him. "Hello?"

"Good evening, Will. I was wondering if you would be free for dinner next Monday?"

Will nodded, even though he knew that Hannibal wouldn't be able to see it. "Sure thing. Have a good night." Then he hung up and went to sleep.

The next week, Will found himself eating absolutely delicious food. He would never admit it to his coworkers, but he thought that Hannibal was a better chef than any of them were. He moaned around his fork, though his cheeks flushed when he saw how much Hannibal appreciated the noises Will was making. He quickly swallowed the bite in his mouth, and then gulped down some water.

"You've really outdone yourself, Hannibal. Who is it?"

Hannibal smirked. "Those customers you had the other day were awfully rude, were they not?"

Will smiled and took another bite. "Yeah, they were. At least they're good for something after all."

It was clear that Hannibal agreed with the sentiment as he took a bite from his own plate. "After that experience, are you sure that you won't reconsider my offer?"

Will let out a loud laugh. "No, Hannibal. I'm not quitting my job. Why should I, anyways, when I know that I have you looking out for me?" And then he took another bite.


End file.
